Text Message Relationships – Modern Limbo * Dating


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TEXT MESSAGE ROMANCE can be frustratingly “safe” and  non committed. You yearn to hear their voice and have face to face. Dating has become “text text, go to bed, distancing, break up.” Here’s the cure.  When you first get the text “want to go out?” YOU text back “Call me for my answer.” WHY? You are training the other how to treat you and what you prefer from the start.  You are taking back your power and refusing to settle for less.

  • Texting for men is a safe shield for rejection and avoidance of commitment.   By how fast or slow they respond to your messaging, or by turning off their phone completely, they can keep things safe and in limbo. 
  • VOICE TO VOICE OR FACE TO FACE are still the two best ways to build a relationship with back bone.  Anything else is settling for less and the building of a limbo relationship.


HOW TO BE YOURSELF ON the FIRST DATE


  • Many people get very nervous and awkward on first dates because they get consumed with the thought that the other may potentially “be the one. ” {oh oh!}
  • But if you let those thoughts over take you the glitter of expectation in your eyes will terrify your date.  SO LET THOSE THOUGHTS GO.
  • Think of the first date, instead, as a potential friend to hang out with. Another way to change your thoughts and relax is to think of the first date as only a dress rehearsal for another date.
  • Lean Forward, ask questions.
  • Do not talk about yourself in a non stop babble.  

WHAT NOT TO TALK ABOUT ON A FIRST DATE

ON A FIRST DATE, men do not want to know that much about you, hear how many times you have been dumped,  about your X or how many kids you want to have.  They do not want to hear that your A.D.D., obsessed with cats….

All that is important is to bond, enjoy your time together and check out your compatible chemistry. Dole out personal information slowly.

If you’re going too fast and too aggressive you’re going to chase the guy away.  Slow Down.  Let things progress naturally.  And if they don’t it was never meant to be.

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WHEN DOES A PERSON KNOW WHEN THEY ARE EXCLUSIVE DATING?
  • Is it when you are texting that you’re dating?
  • Is it when he asks you to come hang out when his friends you’re dating? 
  • Or is it when he invites you to put things in his medicine cabinet you are dating?
This is the crazy part about today’s dating.  There seems to be no clarity to it and in the process of trying to figure it all out it becomes easy to mess it up. With each failure brings more dating  insecurity.  Once the insecurity sets in, people begin to lower their standards. WHY?  Because for many, its better to have something bad…then nothing at all.

WHEN YOU LOVE YOURSELF WITH OR WITHOUT A MAN YOU ARE A BABE MAGNET……and this is when others want to know you.   Be picky.
  • It all starts with ourselves being WHOLE
  • “When you are at a point in life where you are happy and content, OK WITH YOURSELF…..as soon as your there, someone will come along and ruin it with their love.”
  • Choose people who are You.  Whole, happy and secure.
YOU HAVE MORE POWER THEN YOU THINK. MEN CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHEN THE RULES CHANGED AND WILL DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE IF YOU LET THEM.

  • The psychology behind training your date how to treat you, {softly, kindly….but confidently….., “is that men actually think its kind of cool to make them work for what you want, and that they think they are going to get something at the end if they do.”
  • How long you make them work for this, is your choice.
  • “Men like to win” says Greg, “and if your trying to tell them they’re NOT WINNING, they will do what they can to win.”
SIX MAJOR MYTHS ABOUT DATING

  • myth #1} A MAN WOULD MAKE MY LIFE COMPLETE    If somebody feels you need them to complete their life they will run from you as fast as they can.  It is advised to never say the words “You Complete Me” early in dating.  Only you can complete yourself…which is what makes you sexy in the first place.
  • myth # 2 “I JUST CAN’T HOLD BACKDole out personal information slowly.   If you’re going too fast and too aggressive you’re going to chase the guy away.  
  • Myth # 3 – HE SHOULDN’T CARE HOW I LOOK  On a first date do not drop in sweaty after working out.  Take a shower, look good.  We are not talking about beautiful, were talking about taking  some time to look pleasing on a first date. 
  • MYTH#4 – SEX WILL SEAL THE DEAL –  quick sex means quick endings.  Making a guy wait still means your not desperate and remember, guys like to win.  If you just want a great time go for it and if you do not reconnect its ok.   But Sex Changes Everything and waking up in bed in the middle of the night saying to your self “?now what do i do”…is an icky feeling.
  • MYTH#5 – I ONLY ATTRACT LOSERS – You can’t attract what you are not.  There are TWO kinds of people.  Watchers, attract losers.  Doers, attract winners.  Present yourself in the best way you know how, and you will attract a winner.  Your job is to say no to “fixer uppers” and the more you do this, eventually the right one will show up.  You will attract what you ARE.
  • MYTH#6 -MEN CAN’T HANDLE MY SUCCESS. – If this is true you are around very weak men and need to ask yourself, are you speaking too much on your wins?  Or are you attracting “fixer uppers” because your settling for less.   

GUEST AUTHORS ON OPRAH WINFREY “OWN” SHOW
Dating myth-busters and real-life husband-and-wife team Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola are breaking down the misconceptions that prevent single women everywhere from getting the love life they want.


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